Don't Kill Yourself Over Your Art

“True artists kill themselves at their peak to prevent themselves from making bad work.”

Okay. So this. I’m so sick of this. I’m so tired of people thinking that madness is a prerequisite to making good art.

I know too many people who think they have to suffer in order to create. Like, people who will intentionally go out of their way to make themselves uncomfortable, unhappy, or even in pain in order to create better art.

Stop this. Just. No.

In the first place, where is the fucking logic in that? Look. Stop sweating it. The world is already a miserable enough place as it is, and you really don’t have to go out of your way to find suffering. Just wait. It’ll come to you. Chill the fuck out.

Secondly, this idea that art comes from madness or that the two go hand in hand is crap. And even if it wasn’t, YOUR ART IS NOT WORTH IT.

Let me say that again.


If your art makes you uncomfortable, if your art makes you depressed, if your art is compromising your unhappiness in any way at all FUCK YOUR ART.

Good art does come from hard things. I’m not going to argue that. But the two aren’t synonymous, and it’s so fucking dangerous to think that way. More importantly, there are other ways of creating. Throw away this notion that your best work has come out of some of your darkest moments. If that’s what you think your peak is, I have good news.

You haven’t hit it yet.

So if you think you've hit rock bottom, and your sitting on the valley of your life as an artist, here are some things to try before calling it quits:

1. Make shit. Not art.

Let yourself fuck up. Not everything you create is going to be beautiful. But your creativity isn't a well that you can dreg dry. It's bottomless. You'll go through dry spells, but that doesn't mean you're broken. Wait it out. Rain always comes again. And don't fear ineptitude. You're making art, not building a bridge. No one's going to die if you fuck up. Allow yourself to suck. 

2. Follow passion, not pain.

If you're living with a mental illness, that shit is not your superpower. You don't have x-ray vision, or an insight into the world that "normies" are lacking. Sorry to rain on your parade, but if mental illness came with cardholder benefits, wouldn't we all be vying for it? You're limiting yourself and your art when you define yourself by the confines of an illness. Choose to focus instead on the things that get you fired up. Choose to define yourself by something other than your art.

3. Try not being an artist.

And by this I don't mean give up on your art completely. But have you ever tried being something other than an artist? What about a stamp collector? A jogger? A small-time ice skater? The miraculous thing about art is how very not mystical it is. It's not a religion, and if you devote yourself to nothing than its practice, turns out your probably cutting yourself off from a lot of different sources of inspiration. Try drawing from the mundane rather than the maddened. You might save your sanity a couple extra years.

I'm aware that this all comes across as being very salty, and while I have a fair amount of anger towards this perception of art to work through, please know: I'm not angry at you if this is how you feel about your art. For a long time, I too, felt I had peaked at 15.

But please. Please know. You are worth more than your art. You have infinitely more value than anything you could create, and that is beautiful. You will find a way to create and be happy.

Please don't kill yourself over your art.

One of my favorite screenwriters, Max Landis, has a video on this topic, which I'll link to here. I highly recommend. If you need someone to talk about this, or anything, the comments section below is always open.

Shai Cotten

Why Stranger Things Is Important

Even if you were not able to tune in for the SAG Awards 2017 ceremony, you likely haven't missed the hype flooding social media about this year's award winners.  Hidden Figures won for Outstanding Performance by a Cast.  Denzel Washington and Viola Davis won for their roles in the film Fences.  Actor Mahershala Ali won for Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Supporting Role for Moonlight.  But it is the win for Netflix's hit series Stranger Things for Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series that is truly taking the media by storm.

Now, the cast of Stranger Things were not only the award winners to get a little political in their acceptance speeches, in the wake of Trump's recent "Muslim ban".  But if you haven't already watched David Harbour's speech, watch it now, and if you have - view it again just to watch the looks on the cast's faces as they traverse the full emotional range from confusion, to realization, to pride.  Harbour's speech is eloquent, it's poignant, and it is delivered in the true gusto of his character, Jim Hopper - with tremendous heart and ferocity.

Stranger Things took audiences by storm when it was first released on Netflix in 2016.  People were quick to celebrate this charming callback to American 80's sci-fi and horror, and it soon became a viral trend.

However, I would stretch to say that Stranger Things was not a groundbreaking show.  The performances the actors gave were phenomenal, and the story and pacing executed flawlessly, but as far as being revolutionary or innovative, the truth is that Stranger Things is nothing starkly new.  It is very simply a fantastic sci-fi show.

Stranger Things getting an award show win is what is groundbreaking.

There is a reason that "Oscar-bait" has become it's own genre, and that is because the films and TV series that are nominated and awarded for award ceremonies all typically fit the same mold.  Besides being released at an ideal time for nominations, they tend to conform to the same genres: period dramas, Holocaust films, "true story" adaptations, white guilt films, or any other film that plays on heart strings and allows for a wide range of powerful acting without taking any real risks.

This is important.  By creating this whole category for films that are "Oscar-worthy", a statement is created as towards what sort of stories "deserve" to be celebrated or honored.  This is a system that rewards creators for taking the road well-traveled.  It entirely excludes mainstream or "genre" media.

This system also tends to focus on narratives that are in the past.

Narratives that rehash old stories of hope and victory as if to remind us: look at us, we fought that fight.  We should be so proud.

No reason to fight it anymore.

The power of fiction - mainstream, genre fiction - is that it is never not relevant.  The symbolism and metaphors in Lord of the Rings, or Alien, will never grow old.  The accessibility of fiction is what makes it ageless.

Because we will never not be at war.  We will never not be terrorized or afraid.  We will never not be pressed with the decision to be courageous in the face of difficulty, horror, or oppression.

Fiction like Stranger Things lets people know, as David Harbour said, that we "fight monsters" on a daily basis, and we will always have the strength to do it.  It is so incredibly important, in the wake of everything happening in our country presently, to see actors and creators - the symbols of action and resistance that we all see in our day to day - standing up and speaking out against tyranny.

Narrative and fiction has the potential to create radical change.  The same power that Katniss Everdeen of the Hunger Games franchise represents.  Not to go toe to toe with villainy, but to stand as a symbol for others to rally around.  A fiction which conceals, at its heart, a message of truth.

When the character Evey Hammond from the film V for Vendetta asks V, our masked vigilante, why he is intent on blowing up parliament, he replies, "A building is a symbol, as is the act of destroying it. Symbols are given power by people. Alone, a symbol is meaningless, but with enough people, blowing up a building can change the world."

In the light of the recent election, I know many may feel that our voices go unheard, and that in the face of the government, we have no power or choice.  But we do have a choice, and that is in what we give power to; the symbols, movements, and ideas that we support or demand.

Chose to give power to the narratives that symbolize radical change, fierce resistance, vehement horror, and unbending hope. Support the stories that reflect our struggle - that support the truth that monsters are real, and seek to build up in us the courage to fight back against them.

With enough people, believing in one unified ideal, a story can change the world.


Shai Cotten

Re-Establishing Your Writing Routine

Re-Establishing Your Writing Routine

There are some out there who are fortunate enough to have the luxury of getting paid to do what they love; to write.  The rest of us have the get by, squeezing in minutes of writing time between school, work, personal relationships, second jobs even.

Like many writers who struggle to keep up a writing practice between the doldrums of daily life, I have spent hours scouring Pinterest for blog posts on how to keep up a lively, productive writing routine.  I typically skim through these blog posts searching for the bolded and bulleted phrases.  In my mind, I’m too busy to be reading long, in-depth articles with helpful tips and relatable anecdotes.  You know.  With all of the not-writing I'm doing.

So here’s another relatable anecdote for you to skip over: I currently don’t have a writing practice.

Shai Cotten

Writing About Problems You Don't Have the Answers To

Writing About Problems You Don't Have the Answers To

This week, I started listening to the Dear Hank and John podcast while working on shelf reading at the library.  One of the many perks of being a circulation assistant at my library is that we are allowed to listen to music while we’re in the stacks, but I learned quickly, however, that it takes all the power in my being not to laugh out loud while listening to the vlogbrothers give their typical dubious advice in response to typically hilarious questions.

If you’re not a John Green fan, you might not know of the podcast he hosts with his brother Hank Green, or that John is in fact in the process of writing a new book.  An avid vlogbrothers follower, I was psyched to hear John read an excerpt aloud from it some months back during the Project for Awesome livestream, and to find that the new novel John has been laboring so hard over is on a subject very close to home for him; living with OCD.

Shai Cotten

Adapting for TV: The Magicians

Adapting for TV: The Magicians


I finally finished reading Lev Grossman’s The Magicians.

I started watched The Magicians SyFy TV adaptation mid-February, and quickly realized that I needed to be reading the source material.  Stalking “The Magicians” tag on Tumblr led me to believe that there was more to the story, and to the central theme of the series - the crippling depression that haunts the series main character, Quentin Coldwater, even as he steps foot into a world of fantasy and magic, and his quest to escape his own miserable existence.  I hurriedly bought the first installation off Amazon (you can find it here) and started reading it alongside the first season premiere.

If you haven’t read the books, or if you’ve read the books, but haven’t watched the series, let me just tell you: the TV adaptation and Lev Grossman’s novel are two entirely different beasts.

Shai Cotten